The Danger Of An Unhappy Marriage

Looking back to the couples we’ve helped out in the past, one of the biggest risks of being in an unhappy marriage is falling into infidelity.  Many of our readers have reported that either them or their partner have been driven to cheat because of how rocky their relationships have become.

As we’ve said before, anyone who is married has the capacity to cheat under the right conditions.  Ironic as it sounds, but a small level of distrust will actually reduce the likelihood of infidelity.

Acknowledging that any spouse put in a certain position is at risk of cheating will make you come to terms with the factors that contribute to this danger.  Thus, you’ll be more motivated to come up with ways to steer clear of this common trap.

For instance, you have to make sure that you don’t drift apart physically and emotionally.  Neglecting this is the start of an unhappy marriage and makes it  conducive for either of you to relive the lost sense of romance in someone else’s arms.

Therefore, keep your focus on each other by going on regular dates.  All couples (especially those who have kids) can get caught up in the daily humdrum of married life.

But that’s not an excuse to be complacent.  You can’t afford to let the boredom seep into the relationship if you want to prevent cheating.

All work and no play makes for a dull marriage, and it can drive a bored partner to seek excitement elsewhere.

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Compared to more immediate concerns, making time for each other might not seem as important.  However, you shouldn’t underestimate the importance of this in your marriage.

The “little” things are what matter the most; if you stop doing these, it could trigger a slow death in your marriage.  You can never lose sight of the reasons for getting married – that’s why it’s so vital to find time to rediscover one another to prevent this from happening.

You can never take away the fact that it’s human nature to feel temptation.  However, that doesn’t mean you can’t do anything about it.

The next best thing is to remove any reason to be tempted so that you don’t find yourself struggling with keeping faithful.

Even if your dates are simple and relatively cheap, this goes a long way in reminding yourselves of the commitment you share with one another.  This is the most powerful way to keep you from dwelling on any feelings of attraction that you might have for someone else.

Anyone can find him or herself drawn to someone of the opposite sex (again, human nature), but what matters is how you choose to act on these feelings.  A healthy marriage will keep you away from the momentary distraction that comes along.

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On the other hand, we don’t need to say what might happen if you had the such thoughts while being in a relationship on the rocks.

Another practical but effective way to save your marriage from infidelity is by making a conscious effort to see the good in your spouse.  Try to maintain the daily habit of complimenting your partner on something that pleases you.

It can be anything under the sun, be it the way he or she’s dressed or if he or the effort to look better (like a new haircut or a slimmer figure).  These little things add up big time and helps validate a spouse as attractive and desirable.

Make sure to keep your partner’s self-esteem on a good level as this goes a long way in your marriage.  People cheat on their partner to boost their confidence and fulfill their need to be validated by someone else.

That’s why maintaining the effort to provide your spouse’s basic emotional needs will not only prevent an unhappy marriage, but also the dangers that come with it.

No matter what kind of problems couples face, the most common symptom we’ve noticed is the lack of time they have for each other. This basic but often overlooked aspect is what keeps people from having a happy marriage.

We usually hear from readers that their dates are months (or even years!) apart. Most of the couples in trouble don’t realize it’s been that long until we ask them about it.

The trouble with this mindset is that you’re endangering a perfectly happy marriage by letting all the other stuff (e.g. work, chores, etc.) come between you and your spouse. What about the reason why you got married in the first place?

It’s easy to forget such a fundamental thing when you allow yourselves to take each other for granted. Before you got married, you and your partner probably had lofty ideas of how you’d spend your days together.

Maybe you envisioned having your morning coffee, reading the newspaper and then heading out to the park to walk the dog with your kids. Whatever it is, we’ve all had grandiose visions of a happy marriage.

However, not all of us accounted for the mundane stuff like going to work, doing household chores and managing finances.

But don’t fall into the trap of making the everyday things an excuse to keep you apart as a couple. Marital bliss isn’t as elusive as some might think it is.

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As they say, if there’s a will, there’s a way.

Your parents, the local sitter, and a concerned relative or friend are all part of a network of people you can ask for help. You can leave the kids with them so you can free up your schedule for some badly-needed “we time”.

While a weekend at a luxury cruise or at an out-of-town cabin is great, not all of your precious moments have to be spent this way. Marital bliss is possible even with simple activities like doing a movie marathon at home in your pajamas or reminiscing your earlier days over a bottle of wine by the fireplace.

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The thing about marital bliss is that it isn’t directly proportional to the amount of time or money spent on your activities. You’ve put a lot of energy to make the other aspects of your lives work (e.g. work, parenthood, hobbies), so you can certainly do the same for your marriage.

Remember, these shared moments should be exclusively between you two, and not with other relatives or mutual friends. You need allow yourselves a chance to re-focus on each other – the most important component of your relationship.